Never let the fear of failure, shadow your doing of your dream. You are your own person, never let anything or anyone tell you that you can't.. because YOU CAN. When life knocks you down, get right back up on your feet and try again. You can't fail unless you try to succeed.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

It Kills Me Not To Have A Plan

Today I have been on "Allie Time." I like those days, but sometimes when I just sit at home doing nothing I feel completely just unproductive. Have I ever mentioned that i hate doing nothing? I'm one of those people that hates not having plans, and just having time to think. The positive of those times that I have to think though, I have time to just tell myself "Allie, it's okay to breathe sometimes." When I have the chance to be alone, it never fails that I put on worship music and start thinking about life.

I haven't blogged about it yet, but I have chosen to attend UAFS and play tennis. You know, I prayed about the decision of where God wanted me, and someone told me "Allie, you can pray about situations for a long time but sometimes God lays out options for us to choose from then he takes your decision, and says okay.. Let's go!" I realized that God can do things through me ANYWHERE. I really took that heart, and interviewed for the Chancellors Leadership Counsel there, and ended up getting it. 10 minutes later of finding out I received the scholarship, I was on the phone committing to play tennis as well. The decision of my future happened within 15 minutes, and after doing it... It was an excited feeling but also one of those feeling you get when you get married, "What did I just do?" I never really looked at any of the other schools, and I think that's why I'm still doubtful of it being EXACTLY ME. As time has past though, I am warming up to the fact that it will be home. I just feel like I'm going through the phase of being scared of the next chapter. Going to college is a huge step in growing up, and ready or not... Itll be here in 7 months.

I have a little less than four months of high school left, and to me... That's insane! Time has completely flown by. I was always told that life starts flying by when you hit that Jr. High/High School stage, and then once you get to your Senior Year things just fly faster than you can imagine and it only gets faster. Im careful of when I blink because if I do, I feel like what I was doing will then be gone. Although the next chapter is just ahead and it holds opportunities, I have been told to not overlook this last semester. I realize that I won't ever get these days back nor another chance to create these memories, so I'm cherishing the last days to leave a legacy at GHS. We are currently 5-0 in our Conference play in basketball, and I feel that we have a really good shot at winning state if we can all just stay focused and play our game. This team has been a blessing to me, and I'm happy that I have stuck through the hard times and not given up because I don't know what I'd do without these girls.

There has been so much that has gone on since I really blogged about my life that I would make you fall asleep if I updated you completely. Through everything I have done, my heart still burns for the Lord. As I get closer to having to choose what I end up doing with my life, the more I wonder.. Okay God, where do you want me? It kills me to not have an exact plan.
What gets me through this is a song that I have recently started listening to 24/7, that says "your love never fails, never gives up, never goes out on me." I know that I have God that loves me more than I can imagine and I trust that he won't let me down. I know that he has a plan for me.. I just pray I don't miss the door to that opportunity. If your reading this, I just ask that you keep that in a prayer that you say today.

Always know that your plans aren't Gods plans and sometimes, to see his plans... You must have none.

May God Bless you,

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